Will You Sink or Swim My Love?
by Settees-under-siege
Summary: One shot for 3.3. Cora's probing about the outing to Downton Place leads to some unexpected revelations and a total change in Robert.


It was late afternoon as Robert and Cora sat in the back of the motor which was taking them back to Downton Abbey after going to Downton Place for a picnic at Cora's request. The other two motors were ahead of them by quite a bit as Jennings preferred to drive more safely and slowly. Cora drew her attention from the woodland they were travelling through to her husband sitting quietly next to her, his attention firmly fixed on the road ahead.

"Robert?" she said uncertainly.

"Yes, what is it?" Robert replied neutrally.

"I was just wondering what you thought of Downton Place today? I know you weren't all that fussed initially and I want to know if your opinion of the house improved over the afternoon?" Cora watched her husband's shoulders slouch ever so slightly and his eyes shifted from the road to his knees.

"Compared to Downton that house is so small. We would have to cut back our staff drastically which I will not enjoy doing at all. And Tom is right, it does look like a fairy palace." Robert let rip a bitter laugh.

"I know it isn't our home darling but we could make it so in time," Cora murmured tentatively.

Robert turned to look at Cora for the first time since she had broached the subject and his expression was skeptical. He looked at her for a long time before finally breaking the silence that had reigned after her comment. "That house could never be my home Cora, but I freely admit it is my own stupid fault that we are being forced into taking it." His eyes once again sought his knees.

"Yes, choosing between sinking and swimming is never easy as I well know," Cora said softly. Robert turned to her, completely taken aback.

"We will swim but my heart sinks to do it. But Cora, what do you mean?" Robert asked cautiously.

Cora resigned herself to the explanation. "In coming over here and marrying you I had the same predicament as you do now. I had to learn the ways of English aristocrats or I would have never heard the end of my shortcomings from your mother among many others. I found those first few months very difficult and was upset and lonely for a lot of the time." Cora paused as her thoughts drifted back to the early days. She was staring out her window but was not seeing anything. Robert was appalled at this revelation after all these years and instinctively put his arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her close to him. She broke out of her line of thinking and accepted his awkward half hug. It was not very easy finding a position to be relaxed in when in the back of a moving motor on a pothole ridden road. Then Robert began to speak, distracting her from her present adjustments.

"Cora I am so sorry that you went through that. You were such a sweet, loving wife to me that I wasn't fully aware of the impact those early days had on you until today. Know that I will do everything possible to protect you from feeling like that again," Robert finished as Cora finally found a comfortable position.

"You took those feelings away the day you declared your love for me," Cora returned softly as she planced a kiss on his neck. She rested her head on his shoulder, delighting in one of the happiest moments of her life and their marriage.

"If only I had known," Robert cut into her thoughts swiftly. "I would have gotten over my nervous dillydallying and just come out with it." His voice was strained and his grip on her tightened. Cora's head shot up from his shoulder as she blanched at him in shock.

"What?! Robert what are you saying?" Cora pressed as the colour in her cheeks began to return. Robert took a few breaths to steady his suddenly unsettled demeanour while Cora watched him avidly. He had never told her the truth about his feelings in those early days and since she had been honest with him about her feelings he now felt honour bound to return the favour.

Looking deeply into his wife's eyes he began, "I loved you for a lot longer than you realised. At first I wasn't aware of it though thinking back it was so obvious." Robert bit his lower lip as Cora's eyes widened at this startling revelation. "When you lay in my arms on our wedding night, I was overwhelmed by the depth of your affection," Robert continued. "I adored you for it and I also realised how much I didn't know about you. In hindsight, I think that was the moment the seed was planted." Cora's mouth opened and closed twice as she struggled to take it all in but words were not yet forthcoming. _Our wedding night!_ she thought over and over. "As the weeks progressed and I got to know you better I became more and more aware of my feelings for you and," Robert hung his head, "I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to raise your hopes so I distanced myself from you," he mumbled. "It tore me apart to do that. I hated myself for it and the worst bit is, I brought that down on us both, just like with the estate now. I am so very sorry Cora, you cannot fathom how much I mean that." Robert could feel pressure behind his eyes and a lump in his throat but he fought to suppress it.

Cora lifted her hand and placed it under Robert's chin, raising his head up. She cupped his left cheek as she reacted to his confession. "You don't have to apologise to me Robert. I will always be that affectionate wife you recognised on our wedding night, always by your side loving you until my last breath." She observed Robert's face alter drastically. He sat up straighter, his shoulders back and his hold on her less tense but firm. He offered her a resolved smile.

"We will swim through this uncertain time together!" Robert's voice was strong and determined as Cora saw her masculine husband return for the first time since his financial troubles began.

"Indeed. That is the husband I love, who commands respect," Cora emphasised sweetly as she settled herself against him once more. Robert relaxed, totally relieved to finally have that particular secret out in the open. He was not watching the road anymore, and his knees had lost his interest completely. No, Robert Crawley was admiring his beautiful wife silently as she let out a contented sigh, finally seeing the spectacular colours of the surrounding landscape and enjoying it.

* * *

Jennings guided the motor to a complete stop outside of Downton Abbey where Carson stood waiting for them, loyal as ever. Robert and Cora untangled themselves and clambered out of the car.

"Everyone else arrived back fifteen minutes ago My Lord," Carson informed them. "They are all upstairs getting changed."

"Thank you Carson," Robert acknowledged. Cora started for the entrance but Robert reached out and grabbed her arm. Cora wheeled around and looked at him questioningly. "Since everyone else is currently occupied, perhaps I can tempt you join me for a walk? After that long drive I should very much like to stretch my legs." Robert read Cora's features hopefully as he let go of her arm and to his great delight, she smiled and linked her arm through his proffered crook. Robert dismissed Carson and lead Cora around the side of the house and out across the lush grass. Arm in arm they walked out to an unknown destination away from Downton Abbey.


End file.
